dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
