I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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