oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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