I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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