Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
