You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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