My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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