driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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