I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
