if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can tuck mytits in my pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
