I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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