you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
