i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
