that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
