I want to make a zoo with you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
