I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
