We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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