but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize