do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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