Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
