Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
