Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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