Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think my moral compass just broke
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize