What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize