just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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