That's when you crack a 10am beer
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
