no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
