At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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