ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
