You just made me feel so damn special
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
