Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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