Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize