weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize