Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
