69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
