Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
