the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
