Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize