just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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