I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
