stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
