and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
