Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.

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(360): View more from Washington

I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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(907): View more from Alaska

You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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(310): View more from California

Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.

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