FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
