Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
