Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
