yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
