Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
