I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
