Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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