this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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