Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
