And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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