Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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