I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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