i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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