my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize