about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
