he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
