I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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