I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
