he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
