Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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