How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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