just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize