i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
