Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
